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An open letter to all the single ladies

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To those who don’t yet have a ring on it, the ones with non-existent movie dates, the big-hearted ones who are forever third wheels to their couple friends… hello soul sister.

I’ve been single for as long as I can remember. When I got through university without anything close to a boyfriend, at some point I started to question myself. “Maybe it’s me,” whispers that little voice at the back of my head.

Save for a couple of dates, I’ve always been the-good-friend-sort to all my guy pals. Anyway, it’s Singles Day today and instead of throwing a whopping pity party, society is encouraging us to go shopping instead (though I have to admit I’m secretly eyeing the 11.11 sale at Zalora).

In Singapore, getting married by a certain age is necessary. It’s like an unspoken rule. If you’re not married by the time you are in your late 30s, your family and relatives will start acting like your life is heading towards an apocalypse—especially during festive gatherings like Christmas (it’s coming!!) and Chinese New Year. Scrolling through endless pics of lovey dovey couple photos on Instagram isn’t helping either.

Well, to hell with that. Call it whatever you want, but I’m going to go out on a limb here to say: you don’t need to have a boyfriend or be married to be perfectly well and happy. Why, you are probably way better off than your girlfriend who is stuck in a toxic relationship. To all the single ladies out there, here are the perks of being single: 

1. Your cute guy radar is always on—unapologetically


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When you see a cute guy, you don’t have to feel bad for ogling, like your attached girlfriend. You can boldly, unapologetically just look. And when you’re single, it’s like your senses are heightened and your eyes dart around and scan for potential male candidates that are possibly boyfriend material. Because honestly, you’re secretly hoping for a romantic story to blossom out of nowhere, like the Korean dramas you’re smitten with.

2. You feel thankful you are single when your friends relationship-dump on you.


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After your girlfriend complains about her significant other for the absurd things he does, you breathe a sigh of relief that this level of drama is not in your life. “You see, that’s why I’m still single!” you declare proudly and proceed to dish out relationship advice.

And when she forgives him for the gazillionth time even when he is so undeserving and chalks it up to love, you roll your eyes in bewilderment and repulse. Like someone who finds herself in a band of clamoring Game of Thrones fans when you’ve never watched a single episode in your life.

3. Your beauty sleep is unparalleled


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The beauty of sleeping alone: fall into deep slumber as and when you like, with the whole bed to yourself (YAS). Revel in your pillows that are perfectly huggable throughout the night—no need to care about squishing your boyfriend to death.

4. Your conversations are not reduced to garbled noises (i.e. baby talk)


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Well, your baby talk is reserved for what the words mean—for actual babies only. So you can retain your dignity of speech when you’re speaking to a fellow human being. High-pitched, fluffy, act-cute tones are only applied to your friends’ adorable babies, your dog and maybe your pet rat.

5. You don’t have to invest in sexy PJs. Just sayin’.


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You can wear whatever the heck you want—that oversized, holey and tattered T-shirt from secondary school that you love, worn-to-death shorts or your favorite cupcake PJs tee that you don’t ever wash because you like its familiar smell. You do you.

6. It’s the perfect time to be adventurous and try all the things you always wanted to do.


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Like Shawn Mendes croons, there’s nothing holding me back. Obviously you have more freedom now than you ever will have when you are attached or married, since you’ll have to dedicate a significant portion of time to your other half.

Take up that yoga teacher training course you always wanted to do, learn a new sport, make new friends, try all the new restaurants and cafes you like. Spend precious me-time doing whatever sets your soul on fire and you’ll be loving singlehood in no time.

7. Develop new skills and hobbies


Skills that may come in handy in future via giphy

In a similar vein, take the time you have on your hands to learn something new—be it cooking, painting, playing an instrument, knitting. Whatever rocks your boat, really. Since you don’t have to spend time and energy on someone else, focus it all on yourself. Nourish your mind and body with all the things you gravitate towards or upgrade basic life skills like cooking—which will always come in handy in future.

So yes, my friends, being single is not the end of the world. Take it as a time of adventure, a time to look inwards and explore your self—what you like, what you don’t, what you are grateful for, what makes you happy. Write them down if you need to, as lovely reminders to look back on.

As a single girl, it’s so easy to focus on wanting a boyfriend and a special, romantic relationship that will sweep you off our feet. Instead, let’s focus on what you have, not on what you don’t. If you look around you, I’m sure you will find plenty of things to be thankful for. I know I have. Till we meet our Prince Charming, let’s spend our time working on our own well-being and we’ll thrive like we’ve never had before.

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